Funny Jokes to make you laugh

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Tags: Funny Jokes. Humour.

LAUGH RIOT

NEWLYWED COUPLES

Three couples marry and stay at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they are taken care of by Dave the bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Dave thinks to himself, “Nice, nurses are known to be hot.” The second man married a telephone operator. Dave thinks to himself, “Telephone operators have sexy voices.” The third man married a school teacher. Dave thinks to himself, “Poor guy, teachers are too strict.” The next morning, Dave reports to work and gets a room service call from the nurse’s husband. He sourly says, “Don’t ever marry a nurse.

All I heard last night was ‘You’re not sanitary, you’re not sanitary.’” Then, the telephone operator’s husband calls and sourly says, “Don’t ever marry a telephone operator. All I heard last night was “Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up.’” Later that afternoon, the teacher’s husband calls and happily says, “When you marry, be sure to marry a school teacher.

All I heard last night was ‘We are going to do this over and over until we get it right!’”

You’ll be fine,” the doctor said after finishing the young woman’s surgery. But, she asked, “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?” The surgeon seemed to pause and his face reddened as a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye. The girl was alarmed. “What’s the matter, doctor? I will be all right, won’t I?”

He replied, “Yes, you’ll be fine. It’s just that no-one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.

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GIFT CERTIFICATE

On his 75th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumoured to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction! The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.

The old Indian gave him a potion and with a grip on his shoulder warned, ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say ‘1-2-3.’ When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want.”

The man thanked the old Indian and as he walked away, he turned and asked, “How do I stop the medicine from working?” “Your partner must say 1-2-3-4,” he responded, “but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.” He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.

When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, “1-2-3!” Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and then she asked, “What was the 1-2-3 for?”

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition because we could end up with a dangling participle.

jokes humour funny

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A highly successful sales and leadership career working in a number of different and very competitive industries. Engaging with decision makers at all levels in business and government. Three decades employed by corporations, SME businesses in senior roles and almost twelve years operating as a freelance contractor has equipped me well for all aspects of business. Whether leading and mentoring sales teams, or in a direct sales role I enjoy the challenge to meet and exceed expectations. Making a real and tangible difference in either a team environment or as an individual is an important personal goal I have consistently achieved throughout my career. In all of my business and personal dealings over the years there is one issue that stands out above all others - communication. Excellent communication skills creates trust, helps with mutually beneficial outcomes and above all cements long lasting positive relationships. I strive everyday to communicate effectively with the people I encounter.