LAUGH RIOT – Humour, jokes Oct 2018

By The Mini Bribie Islander - Gloss magazine

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1898
funny jokes, humour

Tags: Jokes, Humour. Funny.

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.

After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, Kin ya swallar?’ The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, ‘Kin ya breathe?’

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, ‘Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’ but I never seed nobody done it.


 

A man walks into the lift after arriving at his hotel. The operator asks, “Which floor son?”. “17th please,” replies the tourist. “No problem son,” says the operator.

After a few minutes, the doors open onto the 17th floor. The operator turns to his passenger and says: “Here we are. Enjoy the rest of your stay son”.

“Why do you keep calling me son?” asks the man. “Well, I brought you up didn’t I?” replies the operator.

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A highly successful sales and leadership career working in a number of different and very competitive industries. Engaging with decision makers at all levels in business and government. Three decades employed by corporations, SME businesses in senior roles and almost twelve years operating as a freelance contractor has equipped me well for all aspects of business. Whether leading and mentoring sales teams, or in a direct sales role I enjoy the challenge to meet and exceed expectations. Making a real and tangible difference in either a team environment or as an individual is an important personal goal I have consistently achieved throughout my career. In all of my business and personal dealings over the years there is one issue that stands out above all others - communication. Excellent communication skills creates trust, helps with mutually beneficial outcomes and above all cements long lasting positive relationships. I strive everyday to communicate effectively with the people I encounter.